Monday, July 25, 2011

To drive or not to drive. . . . .

. . . . .that is the question. Well, actually, it's my 90-year-old mother's question. She's got a birthday coming up soon and, at her age, that means taking the driver's test annually. She's never had an accident (knock on wood and fingers crossed) and up until now she's felt confident (!?!??!) and has wanted to drive. In this country, the good ole USA, you almost HAVE TO drive, especially if you live in a "country city" like Mom and Dad do. They NEED to drive to get to doctor appointmentS, of which they have many. They NEED to drive to church and social functions like Dad's Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) meetings. Of course they need to drive to the grocery store and pharmacy.

Well, I say "they," but I really mean "Mom" because Dad, at almost 94, doesn't see well enough to drive. Though today, he tells me, he plans to go out in the mid-90-degree heat, climb up on a rickety ladder, and paint the shutters on the outside of their house. I know you must be thinking, perhaps even shouting, "You should stop him from doing that. It's dangerous!" Well, I know that--of coure I do! But how am I supposed to stop him? Sit on him? Tie him to a chair? Hide his ladder? I can't do that. And he won't hear of calling in a carpenter and having it done by professionals--oh, no! Not a chance! All I can do is go out and hold the ladder, I suppose. But I need to drive Mom into town.

Why? Because she wants to sign up for senior citizen driving test lessons. They coach "elderlies" (as my Japanese students used to call them) in how to pass the driver's test-- what to do and what not to do. For example, in the behind-the-wheel part of the test, after fastening your own seat belt, you should look over and be sure that the driving test examiner is also wearing his or hers. Tricky stuff like that is the way they try to fail testees quickly and easily--IF they want to.

See, sometimes success or failure on the test is not solely based on the applicant's knowledge or ability to drive. It can also depend on whether your examiner believes that old people should be driving at all. Some testers think that seniors don't belong behind the wheel and they will do all they can to fail the applicant. And if they want to, they certainly can! On the other hand, Mom's favorite tester says, "I try to pass senior citizen applicants whenever I can. All they want to do is putter off to church and the supermarket."
And this is true of my mom as well.

So, please, please pass her just this one last time! And anyone on the roads within a five-mile radius of my parents' church or pharmacy, do have pity on the old lady in the silver Chevy driving at two miles UNDER the speed limit. That'll be my Mom, (I hope!)

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